"I wish I took photos of beautiful things. So I could look at them and think about them and smile because ‘I took that’… and no one else could take the same photograph, because it’s mine, and it’s permanent, and even when everything in the photo is dead, or gone, or old, or broken, your photo, the one that you took, is still there, and still beautiful. Everyone’s younger, and the food’s still hot, and there’s flowers on the table, and they’re colourful, and you want to reach back into the photograph and pick one up because you just remembered that you liked their smell… and it’s like a little bit of a memory, that’s just for you."
So, I'm back, for now. But I don't think I'm going to be reviewing any more. It's just like, I've realised that Ballet is taking over my life. I have no friends outside of Ballet, because at school I'm just the kid from Brooklyn who dances. I'm not going home any time soon, and I'll never make it big as a ballet dancer. So it's time to give up, time to relinquish the dream. I need to start living in the real world, and I need to do that starting from now.
Ballet will always be a part of my life, but for me, that time is over. It's time to start eating chocolate, so start playing sports, to climb mountains, and just say, fuck my feet. Who cares if I twist an ankle, break a toe.
I just want to be free.
i know that im not going to make it big in ballet its just something that i do. but when should i quit? ive been thinking about it alot lately. it overpowers my life. and advice? and what does it feel like to not be doing it anymore?
ReplyDeleteTo be brutally honest, shit. I knew I wasn't going to make it big, so I quit. You have no idea how much I wish I had just toned it down a bit, kept dancing but less. I think I've been away about a month now, and I've started putting my shoes on and just doing barre work a bit, building up into starting properly again. But less, I'll dance two nights a week instead of four, and only some weekends. I'm not going to let it take over my life again.
ReplyDeleteAs to when you should quit, I don't think it's so much when as if. I mean, there are people dancing well into their 60s that I know of. Not professionally obviously, but they're still doing it and enjoying it. I'd say, if you want to quit, and you know that, do it now, it's best to make a clean break. If you're not sure, just tone it down, if you love it and are only quitting because you know you'll never get anywhere then carry on!! You never know unless you try.
I'd say if it overpowers your life, if you're not seeing friends, invite them to come watch or even persuade them to book a class. Try and make time for other stuff once in a while - I'm sure your ballet teacher would be happy for you to miss a class to go to the cinema or a party with your friends one night instead.
Good Luck!
Callie x
Wow, that's such a beautiful written post! Ahh don't give up! I know some people that do ballet, and they are always so stressed out about making the next level or not injuring themselves. It's unfortunate that it's not as relaxing an art and sport for the ballerinas as it is for the audience. Have you ever thought about becoming a writer?
ReplyDelete